For Right NOW....

I really love this time in New England, really love it. I am always so forward thinking and pro-active in the fall; cooking, thinking and friendly. 

My personal life is pretty great, there are always people around if i wish them to be. Here in providence its like a stranded little happy family. My only complaint is that everyone knows too much about each other. Looking back I think that is how it was in Troy too, I was just too naive think that or maybe too ignorant to think that people were forming opinions about each other.

Maybe because these are new friends, new people, new places, I try to leave good impressions - or at least trying to be aware of my actions. I am ashamed of my behavior in Troy sometime. Ashamed mostly because I didn’t stay true to who I am - I think thats because I wasn’t doing what I wanted, sheer boredom brought that out of me.

I like walks right now- i dominate the paths and sidewalks around here. BAM! Looking forward to hearing from and seeing old friends, going home this weekend.

 were there three gun shots tonight?

I need to learn how to really punch someone in the face, I mean, I have the general idea down but I want to really learn how to break a nose with one good swoop!  I dont see at what point in our lives did we decide that it was OK to just say obnoxious things to people we don’t know - I am speaking to mostly the male gender right now. Go fuck yourselfs. I need to learn how to punch someone in the face, until than cover your testicles gentleman cause that’s what I am going for.

I am volunteering at a couple of places, my favorite being Lend a Hand therapeutic riding foundation. http://lendahandri.org/

I will be cleaning stalls, walking horses, leading trail rides (and getting to ride every now and than on my own). I take my riding “test” on friday so that the manager of the barn can see how I ride to decide if I can lead trail rides, I am a little nervous but have no doubt that I can handle the horses that are at that farm.  I actually have played with idea of opening my own barn for therapeutic riding/ artist retreat! I think that this will give me a good taste.

I have also been looking up all of the farms that the foodbank gets thier fresh veggies from than volunteering at the farms to help harvest. It is nice to get outside and feel usefull.

Tomorrow is my last session with the Youth at Central Falls High. They have some great ideas for ventures - I hope that I can push them and encourage them enough to make them feel like they can make them happen. I live in thier neighborhood, I am starting to understand why they role their eyes at me when I tell them if they deam it they can do it. I dont want to let them down, but there is only so much I can help them do and there is so much that needs to be done here - it feels… helpless, worthless really. I  understand totally that this is why I am here and this is why I need to be the source of encouragment, its hard becuase there is no one here to encourage me. If I talk to my parents about where I am they will not sleep at night and just ask me to come home.

My butt is still soar from how much I have been riding my bike, it is amazing to me how rich the areas are just outside of the city - beautiful, dream like. I need a new seat or those shorts with all the padding in them haha, I always thought those were funny. The path that I have been taking is the East Bay Bike Path i didn’t take these pictures but they sure are swell! They really dont so the beauty of the path justice